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Things You Can Do When Visiting a Cemetery

by: Ms. Joana Cuizon

 


It is during the month of November that we honor the Saints and remember our deceased loved ones. The time that we pay our respect by remembering and celebrating the life they lived. If you were to recall your day ahead at the cemetery during the busiest day of November, what does it consist of? Do you go back to your province along with your family or do you go to your local cemetery?


People nowadays have different routines during this month. Some participate in a non-traditional custom like trick or treating or joining Halloween parties, others may stay at home, continue working, or go on trips out of town. But are these things expected from us as Catholics?


My day usually starts very early with my mother rushing me and my sisters so we can arrive at the cemetery on time. It consists of errand after errands that we accomplish one by one together as a family. We prepare foods and things we need the day before, and buy flowers and candles among the many vendors around the area. 



The Church encourages us to visit the cemetery during the All Saints’ Octave or Poor Souls’ Octave. This emphasizes our profound admiration for both the Saints’ and our dearly departed, and that we motivate everyone to pray and call to mind their relationship during the first 8 days of November. 


Here are some things you can do to have a meaningful visit to the cemetery.

Decorate and tend to the grave/s

When visiting my grandfather’s grave, the first thing that we do is to tidy up the place using the brooms or rugs that we brought to remove dirt and dead leaves. In addition, we occasionally ask a professional to re-paint the tombstone. Through this, a peaceful atmosphere is created that invites space for reflection and remembrance as it becomes a sacred ground. It is important that each family member present cleans up an area as a sign of respect and love for their departed loved ones. 





Light up a candle and offer flowers

Another common practice that we do is the lighting of candles. We light the candles after cleaning and then we place flowers beside it. This creates a solemn and tranquil ambiance, promoting a healthy environment, perfect for prayer and indulgence.

 

Other families, including mine, also practice lighting a candle and placing it in front of their homes. This is an act of remembering our dead loved ones that we failed to visit.

 


Offer prayers

One significant aspect of our tradition of going to the cemetery during November is to honor the Saints and the faithful departed by performing indulgenced acts. One of the acts that we implement is praying for the souls in the purgatory through the rosary to ask God’s mercy. Another way to pray for the dead is through partial indulgence. This can be accomplished through a mental prayer of Requiem Aeternam or Eternal Rest.

Requiem aeternam dona ei (eis), Domine, et lux perpetua luceat ei (eis).Requiescat (-ant) in pace Amen.
Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

This prayer can be inserted in between the decades of the rosary and can be added at the end of prayer before meals.

Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from Thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, Amen. And may the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

These prayers are focused solely for the purification of the souls in the purgatory until they get the chance to join the Saints in heaven.

"It is therefore a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead, that they may be loosed from sins" (2 Macc. 12: 46). 

 


Eat together

Sharing meals with my family is one of the moments I enjoy during our visit. We set up our homemade food, complete with favorites and packed dishes like adobo, sandwich, pansit, and so on. As we gather, we can’t help but reminisce and bond over treasured memories we had with our departed loved ones.



Spend time together

In addition to honoring and remembering our dead loved ones, this occasion is the time and chance for our families to get together again. After long periods apart, we are able to reconnect and reflect on the memories of those we’ve lost. 

 


In this time of November, we are reminded that while our loved ones may no longer be physically present, their legacy and influence live in our lives and within our families. Let us carry the spirit of love, gratitude, and repentance. This also serves as a great reminder of the gift of life and that we must never take each other for granted. What about you?


What is the usual routine you and your family do during this day?



 



Joana Cuizon is a recent graduate with a Physical Therapy degree from Universidad De Manila. As a member of Youth Ministry at Sta. Maria Goretti Parish, she helps lead community service projects and organize youth events. Joana aspires to become a surgeon, committed to make a meaningful difference in the world through healthcare and compassion.


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